I graduated high school almost ten years ago. I was the star art student of my class (actually of all the classes in school at the time) and my art teacher, who I considered my mentor, expected me to go on to great things with a career in art.

It never happened. I never went to art school. I didn’t even finish technical college because I quit to work dead end jobs full time to help maintain my mom’s household and take care of her and my siblings. I gave up on my dreams before I even really started. I’ve struggled to do some freelance art on the side but am in no way making a living doing what I love.

I’m friends with this teacher on facebook. I see her bragging on her current art students and talking about how they’re going places. A part of me feels so venomously jealous and angry. I know it isn’t right and I know I had my chance, but I just seethe when I think about these kids with their whole future in front of them, and how it’s highly possible they WILL go on to great things. It’s just pure jealousy and regret on my part, and I feel guilty… but at the same time I wish so badly I could go back and start over in their shoes.