I feel slightly sad. A friend of mine pretty much officially cut ties with me. We’d had a fight over something and everything went pear shaped. I could have phrased things differently and I do think that she made some valid points, but I didn’t deserve how she responded to me. It wasn’t so much what she said as much as how she said it. She was angry, REALLY angry, and she seemed more interested in pointing out how I was an awful friend and trying to hurt me than to actually help me. She pretty much said that I was an awful person who had done nothing but hurt her the past year and that I was nothing but drama. I just can’t get where she got that I was a completely evil person, as I’ve done a lot to help her out since we’ve known each other and I’ve helped her out this past year as well.

I honestly don’t know what I did that was so wrong that warranted her bitching me out. All I did was try to come to her with a problem and she chewed me out for doing this. I rarely talk about things that truly bother me and I’ve never brought up anything that would be seen as “drama”, so I’m not sure where she got that from. The only things that could be seen as drama were topics that she specifically brought up with me. She pretty much told me that she hasn’t been having fun with me, but she never really said any of the stuff she said in her last mails to me. How am I to know if I’m making her really unhappy unless she tells me? I got the impression that she didn’t really enjoy my company like she used to, but since she never really said anything I just kind of decided to carry on. I know she’s having issues at home, as she would regularly complain about various things that bother her, so I figured that it was just due to her home life. That’s part of how I helped her out, by listening to her, trying to take her to nice places to cheer her up, and generally doing good things when I could.

When I tried to talk to her, she painted it like I was the bad friend and she was the good friend. More than a few people told me that while I do have things I could work on, I’m far from being a bad person and a bad friend.

So why am I still beating myself up over this? I won’t really have much contact with her in the future and I’ve gotten to the point where I’m mostly OK with her cutting me off. I think it’ll hurt her in the long run because I think she’s going to eventually mellow out and realize that I wasn’t the bad person she thought I was. I didn’t beat her, I didn’t steal from her, I never slept with her man or try to, and I did listen to her when she was upset. I still just want to know why this happened in the first place.