i sometimes hate myself for being a desperate social climber. i always want to hang out with the popular crowd at school then ditch them for better people. for one year i finally settled with true genuine friends but the next year they all left to different schools leaving me with the rest of our group of friends, which are popular people who arent that close to me. now i feel desperate and without any dignity and lonely for half a year already and i dont want to tell anybody about it because i feel like i am a terrible person. and also i cant stand the “unpopular” i dont know why i just want to punch them and i cry myself to sleep because of this self hate