I have a crush on my art therapist and she has a crush on me. She has beautiful long brown hair and I think she might be thinking of cutting it, but I’m only attracted to women with long hair. I don’t think she knows that, but if she cuts it, I’m gonna go “oh nooo, what did you do to your beautiful hair?” And then I’m gonna stop giving her attention and possibly stop going to my day program altogether. Lose the hair, lose me.