MIAMI- A Miami man named Corvallus Bronson Winslow III is apart of a new movement called New Dixie Democrats who aim to bring Democrat hegemony back to the south — but with a twist.

Winslow, an openly gay man who primarily dates interracially said “The recent Trump re-election aided in a large part by the African American male vote shows that we’ve lost a lot of ground with black men. New Dixie Democrats of Florida think it’s high time we put black men back in their place — on the basketball court, in prison, the bedroom or behind a BBQ grill — but definitely not in the voting booth”.

Winslow is not without his critics, many calling him a slavery or Jim Crow era revivalist but Winslow rebuffs this. “Look here’s what I say — hey Sambo Lips, we helped you out during slavery, we helped you out with welfare and other goodies during the civil rights movement, but clearly you ignorant fuzzheads don’t appreciate it and it’s time we put you back in your place”.

Winslow ended our interview early when a man he referred to as Dookie Dunker Dushawn arrived for what he called “a cheek splitting session”.

ROBERTO HAMBURGUESA, MIAMI TRIBUNE