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[Opening Scene: A dimly lit studio with dramatic lighting and patriotic music playing in the background. Alex Jones, in his characteristic fervor, addresses the camera with urgency.]

Alex Jones:
“My fellow truth-seekers, buckle up because we’re about to dive into the depths of a conspiracy that will shake Eternia to its very core! You see, folks, we’ve been told that President Skeletor is just your average villain-turned-president, but let me tell you, the truth is far more sinister than that!”

[Cut to a grainy image of President Skeletor in a suit, his face obscured by shadows, walking with an unnatural gait.]

Alex Jones:
“Look at him! Skeletor, with his bony fingers and hollow eyes, it’s all a facade! What they don’t want you to know is that President Skeletor is not one, not two, but three kids in a trench coat masquerading as a leader! It’s a cover-up, folks!”

[Cut to a hastily drawn diagram with arrows pointing from three stick figures to a trench coat, labeled “Evidence of Multiple Entities.”]

Alex Jones:
“I’ve received leaked documents from deep within the halls of power, confirming that Skeletor is indeed a trio of children stacked one on top of the other, pretending to be a towering figure of authority! They’ve been manipulating us, pulling the strings from within their disguise!”

[Cut to a clip of Skeletor giving a speech, with ominous music playing in the background.]

Alex Jones:
“Listen closely to his words, my friends! Those stilted cadences, those awkward pauses—it’s the telltale signs of three kids trying to pass off as a seasoned politician! Wake up, Eternia! This is a deception of epic proportions!”

[Cut to a blurry photo of Skeletor’s alleged “trench coat” being pulled aside, revealing glimpses of sneakers and childish giggling.]

Alex Jones:
“And if you think that’s shocking, wait until you hear about their real agenda! They’re not just playing dress-up; they’re plotting to dismantle our freedoms, one playground at a time! It’s a playground coup d’état, orchestrated by none other than… the Kids in the Trench Coat!”

[The screen fades to black as dramatic music reaches a crescendo, leaving viewers to ponder the gravity of Alex Jones’ latest revelation.]

Alex Jones:
“Stay vigilant, my friends. The truth is out there, hidden beneath layers of deceit and disguise. President Skeletor may be three kids in a trench coat today, but tomorrow… who knows what they’ll try to hide from us next! This is Alex Jones signing off, reminding you to keep your eyes open and your minds sharp. Goodnight, and God bless Eternia!”

[End Scene: The studio lights dim, leaving an eerie silence in the air as the conspiracy lingers in the minds of viewers.]

New Confession

I’m going to be 20 and my mental health has definitely improved in the past few years but I HAVE been su***dal since I was 10 and as hard as I try I can’t stop the su***dal thoughts. I know I need therapy because the medications barely helped. The truth is that it’s been so long since I’ve had the thoughts that they feel like they’re just part of my brain chemistry now. It sort of feels like being able to read – you can’t just unlearn how to read, if you see words you’re going to automatically read them in a sense, and that’s how it feels like with the thoughts. They just keep coming. I don’t know if even therapy will make them ever go away. I’m scared and I’m tired and I wish I had received help sooner before an entire decade went by. Maybe I wouldn’t have those thoughts now if I had gotten help sooner. But this country doesn’t want you to talk about that. I just have to deal with my broken brain for the rest of my life. I’m trying hard to want to live, to actually live, but my mental health is taking a huge toll on my body and I have too many health issues because of that, which is obviously making life harder. I wish I could take a break from life to just relax and work on my mental health for an entire year, maybe 2 years. But that’s not how it works here. I’m just so exhausted. Even my headmates are missing, they don’t talk to me anymore. I can’t feel them there anymore and I wish they were back. It felt better when I wasn’t alone in my head.

Related Confessions

I’m going to be 20 and my mental health has definitely improved in the past few years but I HAVE been su***dal since I was 10 and as hard as I try I can’t stop the su***dal thoughts. I know I need therapy because the medications barely helped. The truth is that it’s been so long since I’ve had the thoughts that they feel like they’re just part of my brain chemistry now. It sort of feels like being able to read – you can’t just unlearn how to read, if you see words you’re going to automatically read them in a sense, and that’s how it feels like with the thoughts. They just keep coming. I don’t know if even therapy will make them ever go away. I’m scared and I’m tired and I wish I had received help sooner before an entire decade went by. Maybe I wouldn’t have those thoughts now if I had gotten help sooner. But this country doesn’t want you to talk about that. I just have to deal with my broken brain for the rest of my life. I’m trying hard to want to live, to actually live, but my mental health is taking a huge toll on my body and I have too many health issues because of that, which is obviously making life harder. I wish I could take a break from life to just relax and work on my mental health for an entire year, maybe 2 years. But that’s not how it works here. I’m just so exhausted. Even my headmates are missing, they don’t talk to me anymore. I can’t feel them there anymore and I wish they were back. It felt better when I wasn’t alone in my head.