If there anyone in the Alameda country in this, my guilt for many things were unbearable to the point I lost myself. Even if someone did love me how could I shoot myself if I know how I am. When I did I mess it up and if she felt the same why couldn’t you just say so. But I’m no better because I trusted people who didn’t care about to celebrate I was actually in love and I let in cause I thought we were friends. I don’t how you felt but I’m understanding enough to accept it would never happen and people back are pieces of crap. So why I wanted to see you cause I wanted to apologize and see you again cause you were so dear to me even if it was short and one sided. Anyways yeah either way bad will always find their way to me but I have nothing to really lose at this point.