Alright, so I’m a Senior in High School at the moment, and I really like this girl (also a Senior) I met in the past few months. She was our stage manager in one of our school theater productions and I was one of the cast members, so we’ve spent many days after school with each other and others. About a week before the show I asked her out on a date, or at least I thought I was – in our costume shop I asked her “wanna go out sometime” she thought I meant as friends however. She told me that where shes from guys are usually more direct and blunt about these types of things. This I didn’t learn until a few days before we had planned to see a movie together, of course I was dismayed but I was still going to see a movie with her. But, then came other issues, I forgot I had a Computer Science competition that Saturday (I do a lot of extracurriculars, too many at times), and my Dad was giving me issues about driving the car all day that day so I had to cancel the non-date date.
The next Wednesday, or today, we had a cast party to celebrate the success of our play and we had lots of fun. When the director left the room, of course us teenagers went off on our own tangent and we played hide-and-seek, and then truth or dare. My friend decided to be the facilitator of the truths and dares and proceeded the rounds. One of the first things he asked me was “Do you like ____”, I immediately said “yeah” and people complained that that was a waste of a question (as everybody pretty much knew I liked her). Next up is the girl, and she chooses dare. My friend promptly dared her to kiss me. And well, it happened after a little pushing from other girls. When it got back to me, he then dared me to kiss her, but I just kissed her hand as to not make it awkward, since he didn’t specify where to kiss her.
After this all we got to talking a bit more, I eventually decided to say “This person I know once told me to be more direct and blunt about things, so; I like you, wanna go out on a date?”. She laughed and smiled and I thought it was going to happen. However, she got on to talking about how we only have a month left of school, and maybe a month or two left during the summer with us going to college and all. She said that I should have fun and stuff while I’m in college, that I could meet the perfect girl in college who shares interests in my major’s area and whatnot. This, to be honest, flabbergasted me. Here was a girl being more direct, honest, and open to me than any other had ever been to me before in my life. And that is what is tearing me up more than ever.
I like this girl – a whole lot, I may not have known her very long and it could just be infatuation but I can’t remember feeling this way about anyone ever before. That one kiss, was disguised as a dagger blow. Something I desperately want but is put just outside of my reach, taunting me. If this were to happen, it would turn into a long distance relationship, about a 5 hour drive away – 1 hour by plane, and chances are I will come back at a decent rate due to family being there. I know that my time left is short, but I feel like its worth the risk, I don’t want to leave and feel regret, left wondering about “what could have been”. I just wish I could convince her. Convince her to take a chance, 2 months of her time – at the most. Just to see what could happen, what could come from it.
I’m even contemplating showing her this after I’ve written it. Even though I doubt that would do any good, maybe show that I’m “desperate” or something of the like. The thing is, I’m not. She just… she makes me feel something, something I can’t put my finger on. Whether this is too much too fast, I don’t know. All I know is, whatever it is I’m feeling, I don’t want it to stop. I don’t even know why I’m writing this on this site anymore. I guess it just feels good to get it all out on this, she already knows most of what I wrote here. I suppose, all I’m asking for is a chance. Whether that happens or not, I guess I’ll see.