It’s now been 4 months since I broke up with my ex. I couldn’t handle the problems that were starting to manifest in our relationship. I got scared knowing that he would always depend on me for his happiness, I wasn’t ready for that, I couldn’t handle that, I wasn’t going to handle that. I’m not going to go into immense detail but overall, I’m so conflicted. Every time I see him in the hallways at school, my mind feels like a ball of scribbles just all mangled and intertwined with each other. I hate seeing him. I avoid him. I wish we could have tried to be friends again but everyone knows that’s pretty hard to do with an ex in general… Every time, every g******* time, I see him I want to run away in the other direction. It s**** because I still find him attractive. It s**** because my best friend has become closer with him so I can’t talk to her about anything involving him, ever, anymore. I’m tired of even hearing his name. My head has been consumed by his existence and I can’t find any peace. We had a terrible breakup so it’s also because of that… He said some things to me after we broke up I just can’t seem to forget or forgive. Which is why I’m probably stuck in this rotting hell-hole scenario right now and can’t seem to find a way out. I just wish I could go one day without seeing him in the hallways, one day without seeing him appear in my thoughts, and just one g******* day where I don’t have to hear this bloody name….