My breakup with him took such a heavy toll on me. I lost almost thirty pounds from stress and I have such a hard time sleeping now. Now, almost a whole year later, I still miss him. I miss everything. But it’s like that person doesn’t exist anymore. He isn’t the same. He turned cold and heartless. He used to be such a beautiful person. He loved and cared for people, including me. But then one day he met her and I couldn’t compete. I was forced out. Their relationship didn’t even last a third of the length that ours did. I have convinced everyone that my feelings toward him are indifferent, but that is such a lie. I miss him so much, but not the person he is now. I miss the old version of him. I miss the one that ran to my side when I accidentally knocked myself out. I miss the boy that was there when I was sick, hurt, sad, happy, nervous, etc. He was always there and it’s like he died. It’s like only the shell of him exists. He only talks to me now when he desperately needs someone, which isn’t often, and then finds reasons to push me away again. There was nothing I could do to save the relationship, and I keep trying to remember that. I’ve become very good at pushing everything aside until I’m alone, but it eats me alive at night. He hates me, and he thinks that I hate him. I don’t. I can’t.