I planned to end my life last night. I didn’t go through with it, because my only two friends became worried and contacted my parents. My parents then spoke to me, though I admitted nothing and lied so they wouldn’t worry. I had written notes to my sister, my ex and my parents. I was ready, but I lost my courage. I need that courage to come back. I can’t cope with one more day. The best part of my day is when I’m asleep. When I wake up, I feel so disappointed and despondent. I need to end my life, because I am not really living – I can’t. I am in much pain and so,so sad. I have the poison ready. I have researched suicide methods and believe I have found the best one. All that is lacking is courage.