• 2 weeks ago

I wish 2 of my friends never met. I can never go and hang out with them because of my life situation. I can never contribute to anything like i want. I feel one of them only just tolerates me, but he wont just get it over with and say he doesnt wanna see me anymore. Of course he prefers my other friend. He can come visit whenever and pay for his own stuff and be gone longer. Hes always happier to see him, happier when im not there. They both can do all sorts of things with each other and most likely not notice if im even there. I know they prefer each other… im just the one who is invited because ‘oh ur standing there’. I should just phase out of their lives, seeing as they would be better off without me…. ive lost count how many times i wanna stick a knife in my chest, stop walking in traffic or run my razor across my neck to just get it over with. Maybe i should just get it done so they can move on. I cant be a good friend so its best if they forget me… im not a good friend… i shouldnt have told them i care about them…least if im dead i cant hold them back anymore