The girl that I love with all my heart and who I’ve been dating for years has a secret that she confessed to me. About four years ago she went to a foreign exchange trip to Australia and got in somewhat of a relationship. It was only a week so it was more of a fling. Anyways on the last day of the trip he got aggressive with her and forced her to give him head and afterward she punched him and ran. It sounds like nothing compared to other stories but every time I hear about Australia or the name of the guy I was fear in my mind these gruesome horrific images. I just can’t imagine what kind of terrible person would do such a terrible thing to such a beautiful, admirable, sweet, kind, funny, adorable young woman. It somewhat consumes me at times with anger, rage, regret, wishing I could not make it occur but I feel so helpless knowing and not being able to do anything about it. One time when I was talking to her and her friend on skype her friend brought up blowjobs and my girlfriend said something like “I hate when someone pushes down on your head” and hearing that just hit me inside. Knowing that I was the only other time she had done something like that and I was as compassionate as possible made me remember what I had been trying to forget. All of a sudden the realization of the concept. I just hate it. I feel like I’m more affected than she is. She says it’s nothing now but I still always wonder if it affects her. I don’t let it affect our relationship and I really think this is the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with. I always fear the idea of her wanting to end it with me because I’m insecure due to past relationships that weren’t serious. I don’t even know why I’m doing this but I just need somewhere to get it out of my mind.