12 years
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I hate my peers for having dual incomes in their marriages, nice cars, houses…even though they’re in debt up to their eyeballs, they at least still have these things. I’m in my mid-30s and for the first time in my life have a salaried job instead of a string of temp work, sole breadwinner. Debt-free, but I’m driving a car two years younger than me while my old-enough-to-vote other car is in the shop, living in federally subsidized ‘you broke b******’ house, and my savings are in the hundreds if nothing goes badly wrong.

I may smile at you–with my Goodwill wardrobe and smoke-belching hoopties–but inside you have NO idea how much I’d like to hollow you out and live your life for a while instead. F****** lucky-sperm nepotistic bastards. The meritocracy is a lie and I sometimes wish I was sociopathic enough to have found that out at a much earlier age.

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I f****** hate you (bf) , you f****** manipulative,hypocrite, emotionally abusive, vaping, life draining, wannabe player b******. I.HATE YOU. I still deeply resent you. This is why everyone thinks you’re an a****** at your job. You’re not some anti-hero that you claimed to be. No- You’re just an a******. Point blank . Especially to me of all people! You always take it out on me, and you still wonder why I won’t touch you like that or shut down completely with you. Everytime you sense or feel even an inch that im happy, peaceful, something I enjoy doing you immediately smash that down so you can feel better and have power over me. What’s funny is that every time you’re in the wrong, overstep your boundaries, make me really upset or talk crap to me – karma smacks you right in the face everytime & you don’t even realize it. Funny how you’ve said yourself that people spit at the sky just for it to come back-yet you’ve done the exact same thing too – you’re not godlike or safe from getting karma, even I’ve dealt with karma too when I was in the wrong many times too. So no- you’re not a misunderstood dark knight turn bad like the joker you claim to be. You’re just an egotistical bigoted jerk & everyone can see that except you. I hate myself that I fell for your facade – lovebomb trap years ago . And all the times that you’ve talked crap about other’s appearances, especially women’s, karma yet again smacked you in the face & put on a ton of weight and still wonder why you haven’t lost pounds but still continue on demanding me to cook & make you even more food despite you complaining about it , hmmmm , gee I wonder why. Anyways , glad to vent that out .