i am angry with myself
i don’t understand why i can’t just be satisfied
the world passes me by and i really don’t care
i love Christ and am satisfied in Him
and when i feel most satisfied in Him, i’m more satisfied than i’ve ever been
at those times, i couldn’t care less if i never saw another person again
and yet i still long for the affection of a woman
i just want someone to share lives with
someone i who i can wrap up in a hug and smile
and feel my cheek against theirs
someone who i can love and share Christ with
someone who i can talk with about things we love
someone whose pupils will bloom like flowers
what a sob story
i genuinely have it so good
i lack for absolutely nothing
save for this one miniscule thing
and here i am yearning for it
how *can* humans be this way
so i look again upon Christ
for if not that
i can scarcely endure myself