12 years
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I worked my way through college by taking care of handicapped kids for wealthy families. I am a fairly big and strong guy, so the families loved me because I could life their children in and out of their wheelchairs with ease.

I also got to see the effect having a disabled child has on a relationship. I literally had parents tell me that they were not going to be “cheated out of their best years” because their teenage children could not live like normal teenagers. At the time, I thought the parents were just being selfish. I thought, if you have a child, you’re supposed to love them no matter what, right? Even if it means having to watch them like they are an infant perpetually.

Anyway, that was 15 years ago, and now I have a different career and three children of my own. And now I understand what those parents were feeling. While I love my children with all of my heart, I am also excited for the day when my wife and I can be alone again. If I find out later that one of my children have something like autism, something that we couldn’t diagnose by now, I would be crushed, both for them and for myself.

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I f****** hate you (bf) , you f****** manipulative,hypocrite, emotionally abusive, vaping, life draining, wannabe player b******. I.HATE YOU. I still deeply resent you. This is why everyone thinks you’re an a****** at your job. You’re not some anti-hero that you claimed to be. No- You’re just an a******. Point blank . Especially to me of all people! You always take it out on me, and you still wonder why I won’t touch you like that or shut down completely with you. Everytime you sense or feel even an inch that im happy, peaceful, something I enjoy doing you immediately smash that down so you can feel better and have power over me. What’s funny is that every time you’re in the wrong, overstep your boundaries, make me really upset or talk crap to me – karma smacks you right in the face everytime & you don’t even realize it. Funny how you’ve said yourself that people spit at the sky just for it to come back-yet you’ve done the exact same thing too – you’re not godlike or safe from getting karma, even I’ve dealt with karma too when I was in the wrong many times too. So no- you’re not a misunderstood dark knight turn bad like the joker you claim to be. You’re just an egotistical bigoted jerk & everyone can see that except you. I hate myself that I fell for your facade – lovebomb trap years ago . And all the times that you’ve talked crap about other’s appearances, especially women’s, karma yet again smacked you in the face & put on a ton of weight and still wonder why you haven’t lost pounds but still continue on demanding me to cook & make you even more food despite you complaining about it , hmmmm , gee I wonder why. Anyways , glad to vent that out .