I am almost 34, married my first girlfriend (we met when I was 21), and I have never had a complete b******. She’s only gone down on me about a dozen times, and it’s always been just a few minutes. It’s always an opening act – never the main event. The rare times that she does do it, she brings it up the next day, kind of throwing it back in my face. As in, she will ask me to do something, and then say, “I mean, I did s*** your d*** last night.”
I want to yell at her and tell her it’s expected that you will do that for your husband. It’s not extraordinary. The problem is, I have no idea how to tell her how I feel. I feel like I am being selfish for wanting this. But I do want it. A lot. It’s all I think about some days. Whenever I watch p***, that’s what I watch.
It also complicates things that I am paranoid about p****** her off, and she gets pissed any time I try to talk about our relationship. So I just avoid the topic. I am paranoid because she outearns me five times over, and I like my current standard of living, so I figure this is sort of a trade-off. I get to live the good life, minus the s**, and she gets to live in her fantasy world where it’s normal for wives to not do that for their husbands.
And before you mention it, yes, I have done her those types of favors. But she claims she doesn’t like them.
