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And on a side note I looked up what Chorus pedal Dean Deleo of Stone Temple Pilots used on the album Core, because their time is awesome, if it was in fact Chorus and not the Electro Harmonix Electric Mistress or something, it sounds like chorus to me and sure enough it was the very first ld school Boss CE1 Chorus Ensemble. Which cool enough is programmed into a mode of the new BOSS Wazacraft CE2 Chorus Reissue. Apparently Dean retired his CE1 and now actually uses the Wazacraft CE2w. I’d love that pedal but I have a pretty awesome Chorus in the EHX Eddy Vibrato/Chorus which was $120 brand new so I would not be able to justify paying $320 for the BOSS CE2w.

New Confession

ALIEN TRANSFORMERS ARE REAL!
The All-Spark was the cube that gave life to the first Dynasty of Primes and the Transformer race to work under the Primes. All the Primes died out under the Fallen Prime (who had his little episode in Transformers 2). Many years later, the Transformers discover the remains of the Fallen Prime, and the Fallen somehow influences Megatron into turning to the dark side. Thus, the Autobot vs. Decepticon war.

It was known that the Primes could move back and forth in time, which is a product of the All-Spark and Sentinel Prime’s Space-Bridge (which makes an appearance in Transformers 3). Well, I propose that humans created the All-Spark somewhere in the future, and at some point, Cybertron got teleported several millenia into the past. The All-Spark itself got teleported back to Earth several million years in the past, where it lay for a long time until Megatron found it in Transformers 1. The prequel establishes that the Transformers had been looking for the All-Spark for millenia, so here’s the timeline we have relative to present Earth day:

4 Million Years in the Past: The All-Spark and Cybertron get teleported to the past. The All-Spark lands on Earth, and all the Transformers begin looking for it.

Some Point in the Past: Megatron finds the All-Spark but gets frozen in the ice

Some Point in the Past: In Transformers 2 it was established that Autobots had been hiding on Earth for a while, probably just not knowing where the All-Spark was but waiting to find out?

Present Day Earth: Events of Transformers 1 unfold when Decepticons land on Earth and Blackout attacks the military base in Qatar. Cue the events of Transformers 2 and 3.

Future: At some point in the future, humans had advanced far enough to create the All-Spark to give life to their mechanical creations.

A human-made All-Spark would make sense because the All-Spark had “unknown origins” anyway, so let’s fill in the gaps. Transformers and the All-Spark have to be manmade because they wouldn’t be so comfortable interacting with human machinery and resembling humans. The All-Spark, which gives life to machines, would hypothetically not be able to interact with human technology if it was made by some other alien race. It would only be able to interact with that alien race’s technology, because we can’t assume that another alien race serendipitously made circuit boards and computers in the same exact way we did.

This theory came from noticing how humanoid Transformers look. In the Michael Bay films, the Transformers are designed to resemble humans. They walk upright, have four limbs, and have working eyes/mouths that move when they talk. Functionally, there isn’t even a reason for their mouths to move. Can’t they just use speakers?! For that reason, we can assume they were made to resemble humans. Again, no other alien race would serendipitously create humanoid-looking organisms that look the exact same as we do. Just because we walk upright and have four limbs doesn’t mean any other race needs to.

In conclusion:

Humans created the All-Spark, which gave life to Transformers. The Transformers fought and utilized the All-Spark’s ability to teleport, sending everyone 4 million years into the past.

Feasibly, if an alien race created the All-Spark then it wouldn’t be able to interact with human technology, because alien technology probably doesn’t work the same at all.

Transformers are made to resemble humans because they’re manmade, otherwise they wouldn’t need to move their mouths to talk. You say, “Well that’s just some CGI magic!”. I say that’s evidence. An alien race probably wouldn’t look exactly like us, so how would they know to make Transformers look exactly like us?
Leo spitz
TheRealEffingDeal.***

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