I'm 19 years old..and I have hate n my heart for a lot of people I'm my life of whom I shud love...I'm angry bekuz tha last 3 years of high skool where

12 years

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I’m 19 years old..and I have hate n my heart for a lot of people I’m my life of whom I shud love…I’m angry bekuz tha last 3 years of high skool where okay on the outside but @ home..my life was falling apart…my parents argue over money,my mom took away tha love of my life which was basketball,my grades dropped,I didn have a date for prom,I was over weight,my hair broke off,and I have an eating disorder. I kant live m y life today bekuz I kant get over tha way my life is supposed to be…I shudt be @ home..I shud be @ skool living tha college life.growing and experiencing life having fun but instead I’m @ home with my mother whoo is always telling ME that I shud be doing thys and that when its originally her fault why I’m not n skool..I kudnt get into skool bekuz she sed tha info tha college was aksing for was”bein in her buisness”. Wut kind of shyt is that.its UCLA for crying out loud..my dad is miserable….everyday since tha seventh grade my mom and dad hav done nuh10 but argue over ME and how big of a let down I am..why am I so much over weight..we DON’T have money for my basketball trips.. We DON’T have money for skool clothes,a mandatorry calculator,notebook paper,backpacks,pens and pencils…we DON’T have tha patience foe parent teacher meetings..we DON’T have money for yur prom piktures…we DON’T have money for braces..we DON’T have money for wut you need. Since tha 12 grade I have had purging spells…my weight goes up and down…a lot since tha 6th grade I’ve thot about committing suicide..there hasn’t been a day where I still DON’T think about killing myself..but tha only reason y I’m still here is bekuz I wudnt want to hurt my lil sisters or even think about them crying over ME..if there was a way to die without them knowing I wud take it…I feel I am tha heaviest burden on my parents…I DON’T kare for n e thing n e more..I jus DON’T kare for n e thing I shud @ my age…I feel that I am stukk n thys dark place but I wnt to leave I jus DON’T kno how…since my 18th birthday I have began a life of deceit, and everything I do is is based on the idea of not givving a f***. And I wud love to have oral s** with every dude I kum n contact with… and I like to have s** with other peoples boifriends and husbands..n e thing that’s not mines is wayyy better.

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there shall be no knifing anybody!!!

everyone knows whos in charge.

thor ragnorak

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I f****** hate you (bf) , you f****** manipulative,hypocrite, emotionally abusive, vaping, life draining, wannabe player b******. I.HATE YOU. I still deeply resent you. This is why everyone thinks you’re an a****** at your job. You’re not some anti-hero that you claimed to be. No- You’re just an a******. Point blank . Especially to me of all people! You always take it out on me, and you still wonder why I won’t touch you like that or shut down completely with you. Everytime you sense or feel even an inch that im happy, peaceful, something I enjoy doing you immediately smash that down so you can feel better and have power over me. What’s funny is that every time you’re in the wrong, overstep your boundaries, make me really upset or talk crap to me – karma smacks you right in the face everytime & you don’t even realize it. Funny how you’ve said yourself that people spit at the sky just for it to come back-yet you’ve done the exact same thing too – you’re not godlike or safe from getting karma, even I’ve dealt with karma too when I was in the wrong many times too. So no- you’re not a misunderstood dark knight turn bad like the joker you claim to be. You’re just an egotistical bigoted jerk & everyone can see that except you. I hate myself that I fell for your facade – lovebomb trap years ago . And all the times that you’ve talked crap about other’s appearances, especially women’s, karma yet again smacked you in the face & put on a ton of weight and still wonder why you haven’t lost pounds but still continue on demanding me to cook & make you even more food despite you complaining about it , hmmmm , gee I wonder why. Anyways , glad to vent that out .