I wish I could talk to someone. I wish I could talk about my life. I wish I could talk about my ‘struggles’. I wish people would just listen to me. I wish I wasn’t cast out from life and society… at least that is what my brain thinks sometimes, that I am outcast but that could mostly be in my head.

I wish it was ok that I have problems and struggle sometimes, a lot really.

But the thing is, my problems are so bad, that nobody wants to even attempt to hear me out, because of liability and/or they just don’t want to bother.

I hope one day, I can figure out my issues, and solve everything.

I guess I just get really sad and ansy sometimes… and I feel like I just need to be around people. But honestly, I am unhealthy as f***. I get like 3 hours of sleep a night..

If I got like 10 hours of sleep a night, 3 decent meals a day, and like 45 minutes of cardio, I think my life would be a HELL of a lot different than it has been. Holy f***.

I also maybe suffered a heat stroke last year, and it s****. I am not as good at things and I can’t seem to retain my like mental awareness of a topic for a long period of time. Like, I can study, very very hard, and try to stay abreast of a topic, and do so regularly. But if for any reason, I don’t do it for like 2 days, I completely go back to square one and when I pick it up again, it is like almost picking it up for the first time. I have the memories of having done it but I don’t have the like on the ground sense of what it is… I am not sure how to describe it.

Anyhow, good luck. Stay hydrated, if water by itself isn’t doing it, I like to drink Capri Sun, Pacific Cooler flavor, as that helps with sugar and stuff. I also drink plain Seltzer water, as that helps me feel more hydrated too.

Good luck.