I asked my ex to contemplate whether they could truly contemplate having me as a life partner and all of the ramifications that would have on their imagined future and instead of giving me a solid answer, they just continued to be with me “on paper” for another whole year before they broke my heart by telling me that they hadn’t been happy and wanted to “start over” our 5 year old relationship. So I gently ended things when I realized I could never give them what they truly needed but I guess that makes me the villain in their eyes.