Couple of my old early childhood friends lost their father recently. They both seem to be doing great in life. I’m not doing bad either, it could be much worse, but they’re doing great. From what it seems. Different town about 4 hours away. I ignored her at a time in my early 20’s when she was here for something. It wasn’t her fault I had no reason to, I’m pretty sure it was my own issues, stupid things, she was becoming a cop, I wasn’t a squeaky clean guy, caught and charged with some weed at 18. Who knows? Maybe that pushed her into it? I can think of a few reasons why she would choose that path, but she did.

I just happened to look up their name a few weeks back to find out their father passed away a month prior, which did genuinely hit me. I knew him. So immediately I wrote a condolence. Which was a condolence to them, he’s gone, it doesn’t matter what I write about him he won’t read it. I expressed how I was saddened to see him there at the top of the search on that date, which was the day after my birthday. I said I didn’t know why I looked, but that was why. I was looking back at people. A week later, I sent what I thought were some nice flowers. I’m not sure where they ended up, mom’s or her place, it was one of the other, but I took time to pick the bouquet. I actually ordered on, decided I didn’t like it, it wasn’t well thought out, I was going on the name. Cancelled it and picked them based on looks and what I thought was nice. I tried and I didn’t want anything from it. They have no way to contact me either. I am not anywhere. his memorial was today. Not sure if they hoped I would show up, I hope I didn’t disappoint them because I didn’t. At her house. I was looking at her brothers posts on linked. And he doesn’t live there he is 4 hours in the opposite direction, but he’s posting things like “we’re hiring!” from our home town. The city is hiring a d that is not where he is. Seemed like it was directed at me. I have a decent job where I am but I can’t say I didn’t think about it. Some of those jobs are +$9 hr than what I’m making. I think she’s still a police officer, but it’s something else. Shes a supervisor in a specific thing. It might not even be with the police services, it could be for the city.