I seriously have to take a break from the internet but then it feels like I’m isolating myself which is a bit of a fucked thought and not at all what it would be. Self-preservation is more like it. Self-control. F****** WISDOM. I do not understand why the idea that you never meant anything you said or that I don’t presently mean much or anything to you now is something I so vehemently seem to reject? I am a grown woman. Well, I mean, technically. Up until March of 2021, I was of a sound mind. I think. I don’t know. Have I been an actual insane person? Like what if I am? It feels out of control, I feel out of control. Which is why I need to stop but clearly I haven’t yet and I am worried that I’ll message you if I don’t get a handle on this. Do you know supreme embarrassment? Because I do. All of this is mortifying.