"Four walls. No window, no door. Just four walls. Four walls around me, four walls surround me, accompany me, watch me. Four walls. Four walls to keep

a pain, Other

13 years

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“Four walls.

No window, no door. Just four walls.

Four walls around me, four walls surround me, accompany me, watch me.

Four walls.

Four walls to keep them out, four walls to keep me in.

Keep me safe and sane. Sane and safe.

Safe from them and them from me.

But there’s a crack. I see it, just by the corner; a crack in one of my walls. Someone’s calling for me, begging me to come out.

I know who it is.

And I know she can break down my wall; destroying everything I’ve built since I was a child to keep me sane and safe. Safe and sane.

Four walls, and they’re crashing. After years of building them, they are crashing.

And I’m not so sure anymore if I want them to fall or not.

I want to be with the person calling out to me, the person who worked so hard trying to get through.

I’ve never left these four walls, not for my ‘friends’ or ‘family’ but for her…

No. I don’t want her behind these four walls. I will drag her down to insanity with me, or she might leave me with the ruins of my four walls.

Four walls keep me in for a reason, love.

And I hope you’d forgive me for doing this, because I know, I would have never forgiven myself if I let you inside my walls.

I love you, remember that.”

YOU IDIOT! HOW DARE YOU LEAVE ME LIKE THIS! HOW DARE YOU? I LOVE YOU!

How did I miss it? How did I not see how troubled you really were!? I thought you pushed me away because you weren’t used to the attention! I thought you were just distant because you were embarrassed by your state of mind!

I TOLD YOU I LOVE YOU, YOU IDIOT! Why? And how did I not notice what was going on in your mind! I WOULD NEVER HAVE LEFT YOU AND YET YOU LEFT ME AND WENT TO SOMEWHERE I CAN’T FOLLOW. HOW DARE YOU. HOW DARE YOU. HOW DARE YOU.

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I regularly give my wife’s dad blow jobs. I like the idea of swallowing the s**** that made my wife.

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