I just found out that the girl, with whom I’ve been in love for a few years, has a boyfriend for over a month now. I’m completely bumped out and I’m not in the mood for anything else at the moment. I feel completely empty. As I’m writing this, I feel that my head gets lighter and that my body is somehow empty.
I wish I could go back in time and relive some moments i had with her. I had long conversations with her and it just felt so natural. It was with friends, so I could not make a move or anything, not that I had the courage. This happened almost 2 years ago and I still consider it one of the best moments in my entire life. She even told me a secret, which for me was a sign of complete trust and maybe even more..
I should be preparing for an exam tomorrow, but all I can think of is how I messed this whole thing up. I let some girls go because of her, but I still couldn’t find any courage to even talk to her or anyone else about this feelings.
I’m feeling sad and angry, but at the meantime, I’m realistic. I never had a shot at her when I acted like this. She doesn’t know, nobody does. In fact, I don’t think anyone would ever think about us two being together. I can be happy with the thaught that she is very happy now with her boyfriend. He looks like a nice guy. I guess it is not supposed to be this way.