My confession: I work for work sake. Work kills me. I work to make money to see it go in an account and sit there. Either that or waste thousands of dollars on material s*** I don’t f****** need because it doesn’t bring me happiness. Eventually I will break free but I will be too old to give a goddamn. To everybody I hurt that doesn’t want anything to do with me- I am sorry I hurt so easily. I just wasn’t built for all the b*******. I never was and people knew that about me from a very young age. A person with my temper should be in jail but instead I work tediously through each and every day. I know I am not the only one that sees it so tediously, but other people deal with it better. Other people have loved ones to smooth it all out and help them get through another day. Anyone I ever loved doesn’t love me back so… this is my reality. Every day I grow colder and more distant. I’m wise but unneeded. I’m sophisticated but nobody cares. I love but I love only myself. Yet I still think that life is beautiful. Maybe I’m just overworked at the moment. Luckily I graduate very soon. I know I want to be a good role model for my family’s next generation. I don’t want to be some fuckup- because even though maybe uncles and grandfathers and fathers don’t give a f*** about anybody but themselves- many of them just so f****** abusive to wives and daughters and sons and nephews- it takes its toll. To every man in my family I’d like to confess how much contempt I have for you. My uncles are dead or on their death bed. My grandfather was a molestor who should die in jail and even though he is about dead and helpless I feel no compassion for him. You fucked us. You not only fucked up my mom but you fucked me too. Thanks m***********. Who gives a s*** if you served your country. Why couldn’t you have honor for your own flesh and blood. F*** you. I would never do that and I get sick thinking about it. My d*** never goes limp but I could never ever f****** do something like that. F****** sicko. Let’s see- dad- oh- do I have one? No I don’t. Never did. F*** you too. And to all dads out there who never gave a f*** about their child- f*** you. I have more love for my nephew that isn’t my own seed than all of you ever have for your own sons and daughters. Humans are so grotesque. It’s safe to say I will die with more honor than millions but not billions. All I ask is for some common f****** courtesy. And it isn’t there. Like I said I’m just overworked and I needed to rant. Men out there you need to f****** step it up. Sack up and be men. Quit just being gobs of dried c**. Do something with your lives besides s**, drugs, and rock and roll.
