I don’t know how to make/keep friends. I literally have nobody that I can call my true friend. Literally. And normally i’m just fine with that, it just s**** sometimes when I see all of these stupid like, ‘tag your bestfriend’ or ‘Oh, how many memories we have together as best friends!’ … … … I don’t know. I really just don’t know.

I mean, obviously I know people and they can recognize me.. I think. But I never go out, and I never put any effort to hold on to people because.. I dunno they all s***? But I guess majority should win soooo that means I s***. But I’m doing it to myself.

It’s like in order for me to have a friend, I have to become a new/fake person that the other person can relate to. If I just be me, i’m “mean”(not mean just blunt), and don’t have much to talk about to them. If I try and talk about things that interest me, they get lost and don’t even know what i’m talking about. It’s like i’d have to give them lessons to understand before I can even talk to them. Why is it so hard for me to find people who I can relate to.. Because everyone else like me, is hidden behind their computers too probably and don’t even want to make the effort.

I don’t know. I think people just misunderstand me and my body language a lot. I’m blunt and people take it as me being mean.. I’m not mean, just stating facts. I don’t pussyfoot on s***, I am headstrong and stubborn so I guess that can put people off too. I don’t ‘club’ or do weird party stuff.. Honestly, I think it’s sickening to the brain so that pretty much instantly makes me a party pooper. e_e” I’d much rather study an interesting subject in my home naked with a bowl(if you know what I mean..). Not that one thing is better than the other, I mean they’re both to relieve stress, no? Why the hell do people go clubbing in the first place!! Boners, loud noises, ARMPITS, and worse peopleonpeopleonpeople!! It freaks me out that people do that for ‘fun’. They must be sad inside or sick or something to do something so degrading. ANYWAY

I need to meet someone who does this and understand why people are people. Because I really don’t understand humans. What is their drive, goal, motivation, reason for doing what they do.

Someday I’ll make a friend with someone in the real world and find out some more answers. But then will I look at that friend as a answer database? Ugh s***.. I need friend training.