She even publicly humiliated me s*******…I deserved it to be honest. Oh well,I have no shame. The loneliness and realization of how wrong I was about T being secretly in love with me is bumming me the f*** out. I’m pathetic and unlovable. I haven’t made any progress. I’m the same dead-end mentally defective damaged goods p************ I always was. I think i gotta have a bunch of bad dates and s***** experiences before I can have any good ones. I’ve been alone for too long. Women expect a lot from me. I’m phsically attractive but im a virgin and very mentally ill. Plus I’m very emotional and child like while being incredibly h**** all the time which puts a lot of women off. I need a girl like me, a neurotic nerdy nymphomaniac. I wish I wasn’t so shallow. A lot of pretty women are shutters. Then again I’m pretty and I’m a shutter, so what right do I have to be so hyopcritically sexist. Good lord I’m high. I’m gonna go make cookies. Why the f*** did you read this whole thing? If I’m gonna be a hot mess, I’m gonna be a hot mess.