I can’t believe the progress I have made in just 6 short days. Whatever happens now in my life won’t happen because I wasn’t trying. I don’t even have anything to confess to you at this point. Maybe one thing- how could I have been so stupid? Is it because I had a weak family? But then, there are far far worse families to come from than my own. I read all this incestuous b******* on here and it just makes me question people like never before. Hopefully it is the same fucked up individual continuing to post. The thing about fucked up people that I hate is they fucked me up. Every, last, one of you- and even you because I know somehow you are reading this. You are liars. Miserable hurting people. And I listened to you. How stupid and ashamed I feel. I think part of it was out of fear. I get up and face the firing squad each day that is our society and nobody has got my back. Tonight I lay here exhausted from school, work, and the gym but the thing is my hard work will pay off. I had to teach myself how to be strong. How to fight fire with fire. So if I get a hint that you cross me, don’t expect another word from me to the kind side. I have been fed up. Overworked. Made a fool. But this year I decided it wouldn’t take much to plug a gushing bloody nose. To patch up my wounds. To turn the other cheek. To prey on weakness just like the rest of you prey on me. I think there was a reason I got my name. I am not religious but I get it. Parents know who their children will grow up to be before it happens. A slight microcasm and chip off the block. Well I have been beaten pretty good. I think that God would agree. But to God I don’t feel that absolves me of my sins. I wouldn’t want anymore than fruits of my own labor and to help those who are suffering. If I am doomed to suffer more than just about every- single person has put me through that I have ever met in my entire life- I say maybe I was just born to suffer at that point. I pray not. I mean you all come here crying foul- that you have been wronged, and then you f****** go out in the world and be as deliberately nasty to innocent people as you can be. That is where I am different I am afraid. I don’t even know how to be nasty because my defenseless mother didn’t teach me how. Any wrath I deliver- God forgive me- is after I have been beaten down and only a fraction of what I have received. Maybe the lesson and wisdom he wants me to know is that any mental suffering I endured was by my own hand. That is the damn truth isn’t it? Then to myself I say I am sorry. And to what is left of me I say be strong. Stronger than ever.