I’m sad for a stupid reason..
I know this is something I should not even be caring about and other people have MUCH LARGER(UGH THAT WORD) problems that can’t even compare.

I’m upset because, I struggled being the slightly larger girl in my early teen years and it made me very self conscious. I ended up losing the weight down to 100. Today I weigh from 95-100. I’m not overweight anymore… *sigh* and I’ve lost it in more places than just the ones I wanted to lose them in. I didn’t do it right, I did it unhealthy. I feel so unhealthy. I feel like I need volume or substance. I’m just gross. ……. I’ll tell you the problem x____x and i’m not exactly ecstatic about it or excited to share it but ughhhhhhhh…. it’s not fair. They’re so far. .. It’s my b****…. I can’t get myself to like them… I can’t press them together. My b**** will never make that crease that goes in the middle of b**** because they’re so big they touch each other… No. I’m just going to look like a little girl for life.. .. I want big b**** too.. I wanna be able to bounce them and have them get in the way from time to time.

When I was slightly larger, I was able to make that crease while laying down atleast. Now i’m just small. Short in stature, small in frame, small in b****, small in size, small in confidence. I’m letting my hair grow to just cover myself up in it. It’s almost to my little boobies now.

I find myself just standing in front of the mirror looking at myself naked a lot. I’m always naked when i’m at home so i’m used to seeing my body it’s just i’m not exactly happy with it. I mean I am… but I wish I could do better. My body is tone, but my chest is small. And then personally I don’t like hair in my area.. I like it bare, but when I do that, and with my chest small, and with my being so small… I can’t help but feel like a kid in anyone’s eyes who will see me. Then that leaves me thinking like, well who the heck would want to be with someone who looks like a permanent child and be taken for a weirdo..

I dunno.. I just wish I could make them grow a little bit.. It’s like I’ll never really get to experience a critical powerful factor of being a woman.. I’ll always just be a wandering child.