I CAN NEVER BE A F****** FRIENDSHIP MATERIAL.. F***!!

you have to be responsible for silly stuffs you do! i mean you just loose your f****** freedom. if you do something on your own wish then you must have to explain that to your friend. complaints and silly fights for everything. those sentimental b******* dialogues are gross. i cannot stand it.
i mean friendship is not about commitments right? live together die together? really? It’s ok to some extent. but for everything. no way.
friends are meant to relax you and keep you happy. but mine, always gives me tensions and guilt even if i’m not feeling guilty on what i did. f*** them.
if i study alone, cheating
if i study in group, cheating
if a dont hold seat for them in a f****** public place, cheating
if i get new dress, cheating
if i didn’t call them, cheating
if i took a bath before them, cheating
if i sleep early, cheating
if i ask for b’day treat, cheating
if i keep silent for a second, cheating

i’m so f****** done!! i dont want to ask any of your permission from taking a poop to saying yes to a proposal! it’s my goddamn life. i take my decisions on my own. and f*** all of you who call yourself my friend and act like pest.
i can definitely take your suggestion but only when i need it. when i ask for it. if i dont ask, i dont f****** need it. i cannot do everything for you. that doesn’t mean that i’m selfish. but it’s dumb to do so. i cannot catch you a seat in a big f****** seminar hall full of thousands searching for 1 seat atleast. how can i do that stupid stuff when i’m not even sure you’ll even show up there?! i thought you’d use your f****** useless brain and common sense to get yourself a seat somewhere.
i think they’ll use their common sense to get their stuffs done but they wont. and when i get it done thinking that they’ll also do it cause they’re f****** grown ups and no need of giving special instructions, they wont! and it all end up on my head as if i’m responsible for their stupidness.
for them the bottom line is I’M SELFISH