I have had an on/off crush on a guy and never really interacted with him during school. It's been 4 years since school got over and I haven't really

5 years

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I have had an on/off crush on a guy and never really interacted with him during school. It’s been 4 years since school got over and I haven’t really gotten over him, and now its like stronger than ever. And he also used to date the hottest girl in the class where as I was more like a nerdy type and quite shy. I used to really admire him for his intelligence and that’s what drew me to him. Should I tell him or wait for an opportunity? Like he didn’t wish me on my bday and its usually me who always starts the conversation. I have an interesting project coming up and will be promoting it to all my contacts including him. Do you think I should tell him then? Or just bury it because I know for sure that he’s not going to like me back, and I will feel bad later on? But also this thing has been eating me up since the last four years, but I am also not prepared if he leaves me on seen or responds through an emoji or a single phrase or a word, or may not even respond at all. Please help me through this.

New Confession

I’m a teen. How can I do it* with no pain. It’s hard for me to access to the stuff. (It=death) I’m exhausted. My family hates me. My friends are always stepping on me. I’m very fat and very ugly. I do sh. A need a cheap, not painful and accessible way. I need a hug. I used to let myself get groomed by older men. I loved the attention but I felt dirty. I blocked anyone if they ever asked for nudes. My grades are horrible. I work hard. I swear I do. But I’m so stupid. I already tried to do it* several times. It always failed and they were very painful. I can’t access to any pill. I’m probably mentally ill but no one will notice that because no one cares. I’m desperate find a way. My only escape from reality is eating. But now I’m f****** obese, ugly and getting bullied. No men will ever even like me. No one loves me as a friend despite how much I put effort in the friendship. For the last time. I’m begging you for a way out. The world is not made for me

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