I have a cousin who is 15 years old and we both talked about having s** together. After a few days about that conversation I deleted our messages and ignored him cuz I regretted talking about it, but I ended up getting interested instead and started sending him some of my nudes whenever I m*********. This year last August, he asked if he could touch my b**** and I let him. Then he asked of he could smell me down there and he eventually started licking me. I couldn’t feel anything so I pretended to like it. But I came back to my senses and wanted him to stop but I was too scared to talk.
I was pretty well known in the family because my mother gave birth to me at the age of 16, so it was natural that they’d think that I’ll end up losing my virginity at a very young age.
I honestly don’t know what to do, whenever I try to tell a family member my body just freezes and stops me from saying anything.
A few weeks past and I started to ignore all my cousins including two of my favorites. On the day of my grandmother’s funeral we met again and I ignored them, I stayed close to my mom.
But when I look at her, guilt suddenly fills me because I know that she wanted me to do better, be better than her when she was young. I don’t know what to do