I can’t believe this is actually happening. I’m so fucked up. I’ve always been the initiator when it comes to relationships because people find me intimidating (rbf) but now I’ve found someone who intimidates me and is very persistent. I’ve had people try but they don’t know how to continue or don’t know how to make me let them make a move. But this guy,, wtf. He’s kind of making me lose my cool, he’s so clever but pretends to be aloof, he can lie easily and he’ll say whatever he thinks I want to hear – all of this tells me he’s dangerous and may know how to play me. I know this! and yet.. ugh I hate to admit it.. but he makes me wet. and I DO want him. but I won’t let him know that. I’m extremely stubborn and I don’t want to cave in. He’s already throwing himself at my feet but .. damn. I just don’t know.. Wow, speak of the devil, he just sent a text asking if he can massage me – I f****** love massages but… I don’t know if I should let him. I mean, he’s not a pro, he just wants to touch me soo.. -_-
Ughhh so listen… theres a voice in my head that is shouting like – ‘He has money, he’s athletic, hes like super h****, and wants to take you traveling, he’s putting in the work, let’s gooo!’
and then there’s another voice in my head like – ‘don’t touch me…. i have a bf already.’ AHH, i’m so fucked up. Can’t I just have multiple boyfriends… b****.