I don’t know where this fits….
But when I was 12 I was put into a mental hospital for attempting suicide. While I was there, I was diagnosed with insomnia and I was suspected to have depression and anxiety. When I left I was given a prescription for melatonin and and anti-depressant. My parents let me have the melatonin, but refused to get it refilled…. they gave me an allergy med for a whole week instead of my anti-depressant and I only found out about it after asking them if I could get a different prescription because I thought the one I was taking wasn’t working. They said no because they believed “I had beat my depression”. When I tried to talk to them about it, they grounded me for 2 months. When my father was confronted by one of my friends at the time, he threated to send my back to my physically abusive mother, who abused me until I was 11.
When I was 11, I tried to talk to my parents about the possibility of me being pansexual. In response, my father pulled up a s***** Wikipedia definition of pansexual that said it involved pedophilia and b*********. They used this against me and said that I didn’t know what I was talking about and that if I didn’t drop in, they would ground me. The next day, I brought a friend over to hopefully be able to talk some sense into them and I got yelled at in front of the friend.
When I was 15, I realized I was transgender. I tried to come out to both my great aunt and my step mother, who both tried to blame it on physical abuse from my biological mom. My mother refused to call me my my name and pronouns and yelled at me any time I brought it up. My father yelled at for trying to find support from friends. He recently yelled at me for “lying about him and my mother” to my friends and that he is supportive because his “grandmother was gay and she was his favorite person.”.
I’m 17 now and am just exhausted with all of the things that have happened to me and are still happening to me, but I haven’t given up. I’ve been through hell and back, and I’ll be damned if I go out so close to the finish line. I am currently grounded and am not able to access the internet, but am using a s***** phone my brother gave me to use to find help. I’m going to be reaching out to gender clinics and I am currently in therapy. I’m going to take control back, I’m going to survive this, I’m going to live.