I wish I didn’t have your little voice in the back of my head, constantly repeating the things you told me as you broke up with me, proceeded to tell my parents why your breaking up with me and then storm out of my house. I now cant talk to people without thinking, “They don’t really like me, they probably think the same thing, I have to be nicer, do more for people, be better. Don’t believe the compliments, they don’t know what your like really. You’re fake. Everything good about you is FAKE.” My confidence is so shot that even the acquaintances are starting to notice

I wish that I could tell you how much it hurt when you told me I wasn’t your first love and then “corrected yourself” when you realized how upset it made me. You were my first and last boyfriend, who in their right mind says that to a girl and expects them to be hunky-dorey about it? No, that’s not how people work. It hurt and now I hate you.

I wish that I can be honest with people who ask about the break up and say “Actually no, I’m not OK with the break up. In fact I wish that I could slit his throat just so that I can wrench back out the time, effort and love I put into that relationship.” but of course I cant do that because 1) Murder is illegal. and 2) I’m so paranoid of coming off as a bitter b**** that I find myself defending you to everyone instead of falcon punching your image into the ground like the controlling f***-wit you are.

And finally I wish that I can move on from this and forget about you so that when you come back from Michigan after 8 months, realize you have no friends left in this town and come knocking on my door in a last ditch attempt for human contact. I’m going look you dead in the eye (hell even right through you if possible) and just say “No.”
instead of inviting you in like I know I would now….