I think I fancy my tutor, every lecture he looks at me and I have to avert my eyes because when he does I get a tightening feeling between my thighs.
He’s not the conventional type as he’s MUCH older than even the older men I’ve liked, he’s not as old as grandad by god that would be disgusting but I reckon he’s as old as my dad (which kinda freaks me out and turns me on, forbidden fruit, f*** what am I saying).
Maybe a tiny bit younger.
He’s also similar to me in the way he has been brought up, northern, working class, mining background, understands the bread-line and what its like to be directly under, on it or just above. Went to university later than the average student, 24 I’m 22, started when I was 21.
I get emotional thinking about making love with him, like I feel like I’m about to cry because the frustrations are that high but inside I’m tingling and my thighs are buzzing.
He’s a punk too, so his vice for s** drugs and rock and roll are a lot higher than the typical lecturer, he’s radical, he makes me wanna explore things I’ve never heard of before.
Just the idea of him going down on me makes me quivver.
I worship knowledge, the idea of flirtatious debate gets me going, and he has sooooo much wisdom and power and swear to god he’s unconventially attractive if you like that out there mystic animalistic sharman like power.
He has a beard.
I don’t know what I admire about him per ce because he’s beautiful from a distance, the lecture lyceum is his stage, close up he’s like a caged animal, raw, unhinged, dangerous.
The idea of making love to him is strange as much as its empowering, I can’t quite understand if its the s** or just recognition from him that I want.
I want however the chance to get at least a bit closer to him. Or the knowledge that he wants to get a bit closer to me without p****** of the instutute that is university, just a peck on the cheek would satisfy me.