5 years
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Why are so many young girls, like women age 30 and younger, so f****** dorky in 2021? Jesus f****** Christ I understand your all trying not to get raped, and a lo of you play for the same team, women of you hate men, and some are all of the above but my god. Please go watch a few hours of 70’s and 80’s commercials, pay attention to the beauty ads, the makeup, cream, Johnson’s baby lotion, etc, and learn. Please. There’s always been dorky women, but I think the proportion is way worse than I used to be. Zero f****** s** appeal. There is exactly no hotness what-so-ever.

I was parked at the pot store waiting for my brother after work, and I’m a bit irritable, I had a headache coming on, so I parked like a bit of an a******. The parking lot wasn’t full, there was 2 spots right behind me, by I pulled in and was slightly into another lane, sitting there looking at my phone.

I look up, and there is some dorky a** girl, glasses, thick black frames (very dorky, very original), nappy head hair, buck teeth, just a complete f****** dorky, I guess while I was looking down, she was trying to prove a point by pretending she was trying to fit into the 2 ft space I left open in the spot I was aiming for. I look up to see this, my window was down, she backs up and says to me in the most snot nosed nerd voice “This is a pickup parking… you’re taking up 2 spaces… god” with a whine… I immediately said in loud enough voice “Alright f***…. come on over here, Karen….” Put it into gear, pulled forward and back into the spot to my left, leaving the spot I meant to hit, for her. By this time, she is in one of the spots behind me.

See if that was me, I would have just said “this f****** idiot…” to myself and left it at that. She had to say something that solved nothing.

The look of her though. I can’t imagine a old man when I was a her age looking at me when I was her age, I had long hair, I listened to rebellious rock music, I’m sure they would have thought it was weird then but they would not be like “you…. are a f****** snot nosed dork…” that’s what I wanted to say. “Tell me something… what kind of s*** no nuts music are you listening to…?”

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I’m tempted to give up on her and I I feel like I’ve been trying so long and litteeally I put in the effort. She doesn’t even try to communicate back. I don’t think she even knows I tried to reach her. The messages are unread. I’m blocked on fb. I’ve spent a year even trying to reach her on different social media on off. Tried to rebuild start from scratch. Impress her compliment her and say how I truly feel. All those months I spent on my knees praying for her for and for us that was 2 f****** years ago. Then you tease me with a vision of us and tell me well have kids and make me earn them by doing good deeds just basically keep doing it till something happens then you tease me with how she looked pregnant and no one told me s*** for months I’m left alone wondering if anything even happened with a woman I love who won’t speak to me let alone even add me on social media who was probably carrying my kid that was my gift of my love to her. Then more months go by I know nothing no one tells me anything. I spent months begging the real jesus for clarity tell me what is going on felt like their souls exist and don’t understand where I’m under this god that can’t possibly be jesus while trying to find jesus for 2 1/2 godamn years of working my a** off obsessing over what in the name of God I could possibly be doing wrong. Months and months of devotion and bible studies and all those prayers and trying to learn and fun. Months I was tormented for I think almost a year and I still get tormented. Everything I have been through in faith is so unfair. Then I saw recently she didn’t even look pregnant. This god is such a jerk. I blame the real jesus every day for not helping me or my life not h3lping me understand what is going on leaving me on my own to try to figure everything out for a year or more. All the he’ll and torment I have gone through all the horrible things I have gone through in the last 2 years. My life genuinely feels so bad that this year I finally looked for a diff god yet still believing In Jesus bc it just that gofamn awful it shouldn’t be this hard. I’ll curse you every day jesus for not helping me all those times I seemed the real jesus not this thunder thing or satan. This is bs. You have nonidea how many times u even asked for deliverance from things
You have no idea how many times I have tried to confess sins or talked to a priest. How much effort I have put into it Christianity and faith and these weird spiritual things I have gone through. I’ve spent 2 1 /2 years still trying ti understand visions even. And all this other stuff that I don’t understand (other spiritual things all kinds of stuff even dreams that were spiritual) and yeah I prayed about it yeah I talked to priest about it. Your Bible is useless on so many issues. Jesus is a damn moron and a jerk and clearly is f****** deaf