I hate myself more than anything in the world. At the age of 40 I thought I had my life together to a certain point even though I was lonely. I got into a brief relationship which ended and I snapped because I realized I couldn’t go back to my life of being alone.

I was going to end my own life, and got given painkillers like oxycontin and vicodin to ease my pain. While it worked temporary 20 months later, and over $30,000 dollars later I’m a drug addict. A couple months ago in desperation of $ im wasting I turned to heroin. I hate my life, The few friends I had supported me to begin with but who wants to be around a guy like me? They have all moved on, and I mean all of them.

I probably won’t be alive by the end of this year and where 1.5 years ago I had a lot of dreams and goals, I just don’t care if I die now.

Yes, I hate myself.