So this dude got mad at me cause I’ve been s******* harassing his girlfriend. She had an onlyfans account and she closed it because I uploaded all her fetish p*** to some sketchy porntubes. Anyways, this dude tells me if he ever see’s me, he’s gonna knock me the f*** out. I mean, that’s fair, this dude could definitely probably take me in a fair fist fight…. So he shows up at my apartment, and knocks on my door, tells me he wants to take it to the parking lot. He is by himself, and I’ve got a lookout man on the second floor peering through a window ready to help me if anything goes south. Right as we’re about to square up, I pull a can of bear mace out of my coat pocket and spray a steady stream of teargas and pepper spray straight in to this dudes eyes and all over his face and shirt for a good 20 seconds. He was f****** screaming in pain and completely incapacitated. While he was out of commision, I went back in to my apartment and grabbed my Louisville slugger. I then proceeded to start teeing off on this poor dudes torso and legs as hes screaming in pain and agony writhing on the ground, unable to see or breath properly. He had 12 broken bones and I dont have a scratch on me. I lied to the police and told them he tried to jump me in the parking lot and my lookout corroborated the story with cell phone video footage of this dude standing between me and the parking lot and squaring up. Thats what you get for being a tough guy, moron. Ive got to pay a 2 thousand dollar fine and do 300 hours of community service for excessive use of force, but at least im not gonna be crippled for the rest of my life. HAH. Shoulda played ball and kept your head down.