I started skipping my classes because I had a bout of depression. Now I can’t seem to stop. I’ve sunk deeper into depression. The profs will question me and my classmates will give me looks if I return. I’m an art major and I have no idea what projects we’re on or what I missed but, ya know, I dunno if I wanna find out. The first semester is almost over. Only problem is, if I get anything less than a C in any of my classes I won’t get credit for it, not to mention it will ruin my GPA as I’m only a freshman. It’s crucial that I don’t screw up the first year up because I have to go through a portfolio review at the end of the year in order to become an animation major. But it seems I already have screwed it up.

I’ll be honest, I’m lazy and overindulgent and undisciplined. The more I’m here the more I’m convinced that college life isn’t for me. But I can’t let my mom down. I want to get back the motivation I once had, the large dream of one day becoming a famous artist or creator of something. But ever since my dad died of a stroke 2 years ago my motivation has plummeted and I seem to be going nowhere.

I’m scared, sad, lonely, and homesick. I’ve gone to school for 13 years and it still isn’t enough. I just want the expectations to end. I’ve hurdled everything life has thrown at me and I’m tired. Let me rest. Give me a year or 10 off. Send me away to a sunny, grassy field and let me live the rest of my days there in peace, away from people. I don’t wanna end my life, I love my life. I just want a different life.