hi, i am choosing other because this story most likely fits into quite a few categories, and i really just cant explain what im feeling at the moment. i am in a relationship with this beautiful, amazing girl. and i am never giving her up no matter how selfish it sounds because i am crazy about her and i know she loves me too. theres a lot that goes into our love story so let me explain.
summer 2020 is when i came out to my family and friends as a lesbian. everyone was so extremely accepting it felt great. I met my first girlfriend online, she lived very far but considering the fact that i *thought* i loved her, i told myself that it would work. wrong! we talked for several months until she asked me to be her girlfriend and things took a turn for the worst. immediately after we started dating she would completely cut off all communication with me for several days, even weeks at a time and then just text me when she felt like it to “make up” for not speaking to me. she would tell me i was beautiful and that she loved me and i just fell right back in because she had me wrapped around her finger. it was so pathetic. not even just her, but also me, for falling for her tricks over and over. so finally i built up the courage and asked her what she really wanted and she told me that she just needed a break and that she still loved me, and i believed her. guess who was wrong again? me! what a silly goose. she dumped me. im so over it but im not at the same time. she hurt me and turned me into someone im not. i pverthink constantly because of her and her heartless games. im done with her, not what she did to me.
back to me and my lovely girlfriend, we met this summer. well we didn’t really meet, 7 hour distance but we’re making it work. i’ve always loved this girl. probably before i even realized. i loved her while with my ex, i just gave up because i was tangled up in a manipulative relationship that i was scared to leave and she had options and i never really thought i was one of them. after my ex dumped me, we started talking for maybe a week or so until things happened. it was better for her at the time and i just didnt realize but i was so upset. it broke me. because just by getting to know her for that one week i knew she was the one. so i tried my hardest to let go, nut i guess feelings never really died because now we’re in a healthy and happy relationship. shes my soulamte. and i know she is. but sometimes i cant help but to the think that *the other girl* can treat her better. and that my person truly belongs with *the other girl*. other girl is a specific person, yes. i just want her to be happy. even if it completely tears me apart. she will always be the love of my life wether im hers or not. its almost as if i feel guilty saying this. but im not letting her go.