anxiety, depression, ptsd, panic disorder and deep negativity

started for me when I was very young toddler. a mixture due to how I was treated and how I expected to be put down, hurt and let down. I was neglected by a lot of people and no one ever cared that I was s******* abused. the adults had more control over that then I did… to do something about it. that is why I blame my cousins because they knew and did not do the right expected thing. they were just obsessed with themselves and winning…!

the house fire traumatised me, and the abduction, the years of being ignored, never knowing my godparents made me feel weird compared to my sister and brother who had such close association with their godparents. being near raped for 10 years made me hate myself and hate my body. self hate right to the core of my gut that literally made me ill each day … wondering what the p*** would do.

blinding headaches and dizzyness with ringing in the ears…

I get blinding migraines, eye blood shots where the doctors have told me not to bend over incase of blood busts… and I get dizzy, feeling like I am going to vomit, sore neck and over sensitive to light, sound, odor, colors, and I hear sounds in my ears etc I have been on tablets and anti-vomiting/dizzy pills today again I take them with my middle ear condition I am waiting for surgery on.

I also have obsessive and repeatitive disorders in the mind (and heart) I feel embarrased… like turrets I tend to repeat things a lot without thinking, or very forgetful sometimes after a stroke.