I am so deeply depressed. No matter what the situation, even when having fun, I can’t shake this dark cloud over my head. No one can tell because I seem like the life of the party. But inside I ponder my demise, I think about cutting myself. I wonder what it would feel like to die. I would never actually do anything as far as killing myself but I just want to feel inside how I act on the outside. I wish I could afford to get on antidepressants but I can’t. I guess I hope I can find a natural solution.
