I am inadequate. No matter what I do, it's never enough. I'm tired. How am I supposed to do it all. I am a post-menopausal woman who has been married for

13 years

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I am inadequate. No matter what I do, it’s never enough. I’m tired. How am I supposed to do it all. I am a post-menopausal woman who has been married for over 30 years to a wonderful man. We have grown children and a lot of awesome grand kids. I have a job that I am good at and mostly enjoy. My life is blessed in so many ways. I wish I felt like I deserve it. I tell myself I’m awesome because I cook great meals, keep the house spotless and work 50+ hours a week. I never turn down s** with my husband and even initiate it often. I spend my “off” time decorating our home, taking care of the grand babies that are close enough, running errands, grocery shopping and taking care of the business of life. But, I haven’t done my nails in weeks. I don’t match my underwear to my bra, my bra to my shirt, or even remember to wear socks without holes most days. My hair is a mess, because I’m trying to keep it long, even though it’s fine and thin and doesn’t behave. I have to keep it long to be s***. I don’t even know how to be s*** any more. I’ve lost that part of me and I miss it so much. How the hell am I supposed to be Martha Stewart, Donna Reed, Jenna Jameson, Rachel Ray, Marla Cilley, Jillian Michaels and Mother Teresa all in one, all at the same time, and still find time to sleep? I need sleep!!! I want to do it all. I want to be them all. My husband, my kids, my grand kids and my boss deserve them all. I just can’t be them all and I fall so short so much of the time. It sounds horrible, but sometimes I think I’m blessed that my mom has passed, so that is one less person that I owe my best to that I can’t give. I’m not good enough as a wife, a mom, a grand ma, a sister or an employee. They say that ignorance is bliss. I believe that. If I didn’t know what it takes to be excellent in all those areas, maybe I wouldn’t feel so inadequate knowing that I can’t be it all. Everyone in my life deserves the best. Why can’t I give them what they deserve? !

New Confession

I was 8 or 9 when my aunty Jo would visit. She was a beautiful woman. She always swung my in the air and then down between her legs. After a few of those I saw she didn’t have any p****** on. She stopped swinging me. I stared up her skirt to see her puss. Life progressed snd at my age of 15 I got home from bball . She sat in a chair opposite the couch. My mom was in the kitchen. My aunty wore a sundress showing lots of bare thigh. As I sat on the couch I noticed she shifted yhe hem higher up her thighs. A few minutes later I noticed her legs were spreading further apart. As I stared her grin became a smile as she noticed my divk was stiff. After a little small talk she said” I asked your mom if I could borrow your muscle to help me move some furniture. Ok I said.
An hour later in her car on the way to her house she rested her hand on my crotch and Vegas squeezing the bulge inside my pants. I’ve been watching you grow for a while and you now interest me. As she rubbed my belly and crotch she pulled off the road to a library parking lot. Unzipped my pants and pulled my 5 inch c*** out. Warm hand closed over my d***. She kissed my neck and began slowly stroking my c***. Good size for your age. Use this to f*** many girls? No well………. Maybe you are a virgin. I am ! We can fix that!! My mind boggled. But I want to seek you totally naked in my bed. She let my c*** stand straight up. Soon we drove into he garage. “Come” she ordered. She held my d*** and led me to a bedroom. Strip. She ordered. I did. She Slowely undressed and kissed me full mouth. My d*** shivered. I drank in her naked body. I think my d*** grew another inch. She fondled me and kissed my cheek lips and neck. Ooooooo nice. Young hot s*** male c***. Yumm! The top of my c*** disappeared into her mouth. My brain screamed “ohhhh aunty” as she sucked the knob deep inside her mouth. Don’t you dare c**. Don’t you DARE! As she suckled my d*** and raked her nails up my legs I could barely breathe. Ok ok ok slow down! I want you to take a long hard look at a woman’s p**** and do exactly what I say. We’ll go real slow so you remember each move. She stood up on the bed moved foreword and once over my face she Slowely lowered her SHAVED p**** to my face. Now put your fingers on each side of my inner thighs. Now spread the flesh apart. Slowely rub the loose flesh round and round. Pull the outer p**** lips apart. Pull very wide and far far apart. Stretch me open honey . Now rub the loose flesh roughly together. Oh yes oh yes. Now see a small button- like non at the very top of my p****? That is my c***. It’s the center of my orgasmic journey. It has over 100 thousand nerves on its tip. Place a wet thumb on it. Very gently press it. Roll it a little and it will peek out at you. I’m handing you a small v******* already turned on. Press it very lightly to the bottom and press it down and then up to the top if my c***. You see the pink little tip peeking out at you? “YES “ I said. Good. Just roll it up and down my p**** lips for a few minutes. Slip it between the lips of my v***** slide it up then down again and again. Now you can lean forward a little and kiss the non or s*** at it like a n***** as you press the v******* toy on my Fanny hole. Normally I have a vibrating b*** plug up into my sss when I m********* …..but not today. Oooohhhh yes s*** my nob s*** my nob. You are learning how to bring a woman to o*****. I am going to orgssm in a few minutes now and then we will s*** all the c** that you have in you. Out of you. Rub your tongue over my c*** snd lick it fast fast fast . As I lived and fluttered my tongue, I felt her lovely thighs spreading further apart. Oh oh yes oh yes I I I am close to c****** I am cl cl close to to CCCCUMNzmNing she screamed. Her legs shook her belly twitched and rolled she gurgled and mumbled and gagged animal slings. Lowering her a** back down to the bed she relaxed her legs. Now move snd put a pillow under my Fanny cheeks and move your c**** knob right up to my p**** lips. Don’t shove it in tho. Just wait. Only put the knob into me and pull back. Do that 3 45 times. Yes yes yes yes yes now now ram it home as hard as you can she yelled. I did. Hrr thighs clamped around my back and froze me in place. She rolled her hips round and roundabout u snd down. My brain was about to explode. F*** me slow now f*** me slow now ……I did! Ok ok now f*** me hard and fast harder harder harder she ordered I did. I exploded 5 gushy squirts of c** up into her p****. Sit felt like her puss was sucking on my d*** , but it only felt like it. When I collapsed on her body I stayed still until my softened d*** slipped from her hit grasp. Wow was a I could saw. We will wow again in about 1/2 hour. You are a young man!!!!!!!

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There are not enough characters to express how exhausted I am with my life. I am a closeted homosexual living in a country where I cannot express myself freely, and it’s killing me. Every day, I feel like my true self is slowly disappearing while I continue trying to fit the part. I have to if I want to survive. You know what they do with people like me here. Everyone around me seems to be moving on with their lives, getting married, settling down, and building a life. It’s heartbreaking knowing that I can’t ever have that, at least not the way I want to. My parents are nosy and keep hinting at me getting married. I get extremely uncomfortable at even the suggestion of it. I keep postponing myself. I keep hiding. I keep myself from experiencing life. I am dead, not alive. And that is my problem. I keep asking myself until when? How long until I experience my first? How long until I can finally breathe? How long until I am truly free?