You know whats the worst though?

Is a woman, that I as a man, truely loved and adored at one thing is in life, as far back as before The West was won, and I have her in my heart, and then many moons later, you look at what she became and it’s someone like you….

It’s a f****** shame. F*** the leadership, f*** all the hatred and the waring over stupid s***, I just want to not think about it smoke some weed, sure I’ll have a couple drinks, eat some popcorn, watch some TV and give/get some love. I don’t want to marry her, I don’t even want to live with her, I just want something peaceful and easy. No games, no politics, I don’t give a f****** s*** about her friends especially if they think as stupidly as she does, I’ll kick those brawds out. She wants it to be difficult, we don’t need to make a big production out of it, are you married? with a significant other? how many? If the answer to all not them is ‘no” do you like me? If the answer is yes, well then shut the f*** up and come on over. I don’t want to hear another word out of you. My head can not handle it.

If I don’t like how she thinks and I know it won’t change imo that’s a f****** shame that I need to write her off because she’s messed in the head, if I am not and can never be alright with it. It’s painful. I carried it for decades, and then illusion is broken into pieces. It is what it is, unfortunately. Some people would be bothered by it, if they were in my position, would get crazy about it. Harass, stalk, stalk people around her, demand things, try to change her. I don’t see any point in that. It won’t help anything. At least I’m not like that.