I late life! I hate everything about life right now! It feels unbearable. This feeling comes and goes on the daily. I just wish I was never born. I just want to skip past this part of my life. The only thing is I feel like my life is always going to feel this way no matter what I do. Maybe I’m to self-centered. From my experience friends aren’t real anymore or I just cant connect with other humans. Probably the second option. I wish I had the strength to end it all but I just cant see myself doing that for some reason. maybe pills or something but that seems like a lot of work. From a young age I knew life would be s***. I just never really fit in and wasn’t ,and still isn’t, good at anything. I could spend my entire life trying to do one thing and never get any better at it. The things that I can do I s*** at. I wish my mom didn’t have me. I also feel bad because my mom had me. dad wasn’t around much. Didn’t do any thing wrong… just didn’t teach me anything. So yeah that s****. Plush I can’t even be bothered to finish anything can barley start. I can’t remember what it feels like to be happy. I guess that’s the price of being alive. it just starts to feel horrible you just got to go numb and hope for the best. I just wish I ad anything that I was interested in some kind of distraction. That I could focus on until the day I die. I guess that’s what hobbies are. just something to do to pass the time. until the inevitable happens. I want hobbies what I enjoy at least a little. I’m so sick of this hell I call life. The worst part is I know its really not even that bad. some people would trade lives with me in a heartbeat. But I just lost hope for the future. I really just can’t seem to find the motivation for anything anymore. Words feel meaningless to me now. for whatever reason they’ve lost their impact. I think I just want to find one person that feels similar to me. I want to be around other people who hate life for no real reason. just to find out why they feel that way. I’m sure wit would change nothing. The saying goes misery loves company. Honestly I just want to be around someone who has some kind of passion for life. Or if I’m around someone trying to make the best of it and improve their situation. I think I want Love. my idea of love. I want to work towards a common goal with people I care about. what I think I’m missing is closeness. I want a family. My weird twisted idea of one. I’M just sad and don’t know What to do. I don’t have any real problems. I hope this passes but I don’t think it will my mood passes from moment to moment. Can’t stay focused on a signal thought. This s****. sometimes I wish I was born in another time. Maybe I’d feel better in that life. this current one’s just not working out for me. I Wish i could find joy again maybe I just don’t want to be happy. I just want this to end.