suicide attempts
– I know that I did not molest poopter-poorters daughter … i think joyce would make out i did to ruin my career and marriage dreams like she has ruined everything else on me. someone has been trying to kill me since i was a child… what joyce did to me has caused me to attempt suicide and I cut often … self harming with hammers on my head…
the guilt over childhood has led to suicide attempts
did I kill my little boyfriend, was it my fault he drown? should I have done something or go play with him that day that would have stopped the drowning? is his spirit still haunting me over something I did to him. I did love him… he died. I never got to say goodbye and to be honest I just want to forget it all. my cousin tried to drown me also.
I have never had a lesbian experience, I have only had s***** i********** with ken the man who raped me, the p******** tried to r*** me in 1986 when I was 15.
my brother and I used to sometimes kiss and rub and touch each other as children and a couple of times we shared the same bed and would cuddle against each other and the p******** made a huge issue about it but then also encouraged that and my sister also did that to me as well, so did my cousin and the two boys I was friends with that one drown.
so I am not a bad person as such I just copied what other did to me in games I missed some school due to sickness with viruses.
I felt so guilty about but I am not a bad person. I was just a child when all this happened … I was only 7 or 8 and most of the games stopped when I was about 9 I guess bit by bit I realized that it was not the socially done thing.
I refuse to feel guilty all my life over what I did as a child while the p******** was encouraging the s** abuse and s** games on me as a child, using a childs innocence to do wrong is not right by the p******** anyway.
I have self harmed often over all this.
