I just turned 18 three days ago (26.08) and I went to church with my mum to pray supposedly, but all I did was beg God to take me back. I told Him I was tired and a lot of people out there that appreciate life deserves it more. I’ve been begging Him to take me back for three years now since I was in 9th grade. Do you think He hates me for not appreciating life? I’m just really tired. And I’ve been having scdl thoughts for so long now, lately it’s been getting worse. I ruined my five months no-self hrm yesterday. I don’t have the courage to take my life, I’m scared about hurting my family and friends, I don’t want them to think that they’re not enough. I’m so scared but I’m also really, really tired. I don’t know what to do. I’m the only person who knows these thoughts, I can’t tell people, I’m scared they’ll think I’m only being dramatic. I’m really scared, my thoughts are getting more and more intrusive each day.