I never had a gf till I was like 17 almost 18. shes a friend of my cousins and when I laid eyes on her I had to have her. I was head over heals. and when she agreed to be my gf I was so happy. but she neglected me. she never wanted to be around me. I was all alone and I was dying to be with her but shed rather run around with my cousin who is her best friend and I was insanely jealouse of the attention she got from guys. and plus my insequrity. I didn’t want to lose her. but I really never had her. that’s a fact im struggling to accept. anyway she dumped me after two weeks and I cried for 3 weeks. but after 3 years I hit her up on facebook and she agreed to meet with me. some weird twist of fatee caused her to move to her grandmas which was really close to mine. so we start talkin and im gaming the hell out of her and im working my brain to the max trying to make her my girlfriend. well I had this date set up I was gonna take her to some place in Hollywood it was gonna be a nice date. but she ended up not wanting to go and we just ended up f******. I was thinking this is the greatest thing that ever happened to me. later we fucked in the park and then like 30 times after that but she refused to be my gf. long story short she got back with her ex that had cheated on her for 2 months straight with another woman. I thought for surre she wasn’t goin back with that dipshit but she did,. my whole world crumbled. that was last year. now idk y but I hit her up again but im afraid of her. but I cant resist the urge to f*** her. im so confused